SOLVITUR AMBULANDO: THE PILGRIMAGE TO OCCITANIA
Looking Back at the Outstanding Experience of my First Retreat, “Towards Heliopolis”
Most people consider Thelema an expression of ceremonial magic.
Given that it follows in the footsteps of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn (just don’t mention this to its contemporary enthusiasts, or you might find them turning their heads in disgust), it’s almost expected that one would envision the magick of the New Aeon as a practice performed behind closed doors, in meticulously constructed temples. Crowley himself indeed advocated for this approach, and Part II of Liber ABA is essentially a thesis on building the ideal magical temple.
Nature’s Temple and the Magical Landscape
However, Crowley was not confined to the temple walls; he understood the necessity of experiencing the numinous out in the world. A keen mountaineer, he saw nature as an extension of the magical landscape. In his Book of Thoth, he made one of the most significant changes to the Major Arcana to ATU XV, The Devil. No longer a mere depiction of the Christianized figure, this card became the daring Himalayan He-Goat, always striving for higher grounds and greater attainments.
This reimagining signifies a magick not bound by ritual chambers but found in the thrill of the ascent, the struggle against nature, and the pursuit of the sublime.
Crowley’s most profound experiences didn’t occur in marbled temples in London.
Instead, he completed the scrying of the 30 Enochian Aethyrs and received the deepest Mysteries of Thelema while hiking in the desert of Bou Saada, accompanied by his lover and disciple, Victor Neuburg. These revelations came not from the controlled environment of a temple but from the raw and untamed wilderness, where the mind and spirit could roam freely, unbound by the constructs of civilisation.
It Is Solved By Walking
I touched on this concept briefly in my first book, The Aleister Crowley Manual, in a short paragraph at the end titled Solvitur Ambulando. This Latin phrase, meaning it is solved by walking, was a subtle hint at the path to true insight and, consequently, proper initiation. Inspired by my good friend David Southwell of Hookland, I wanted to suggest that the deepest truths and the most transformative insights often come not from standing in ritual circles but from the act of movement itself — from immersing oneself in the world, in the simple, profound practice of walking.
This spirit of exploration, of finding the divine in the world around us, is what I aimed to embody in my first retreat. The journey to the South of France, through the mystical Cathar lands and the rugged beauty of the Pyrenees, was a deliberate choice to seek the numinous outside the traditional temple setting. This pilgrimage was not about following a script of ritualistic precision but about opening oneself to the whispers of the wind, the secrets held in ancient stones, and the presence of the divine in every step. In this way, true initiation is not something confined to the temple or the lodge. It is found in the world, in the act of walking, and in the willingness to be present and open to the mysteries that reveal themselves along the path.
The journey has just ended, yet its echoes continue to resonate within me, a symphony of ancient whispers and mystical revelations. With its rugged beauty and enigmatic history, Occitania served as both a backdrop and a catalyst for a pilgrimage that transcended mere exploration, igniting a profound transformation within us.
The Pays Cathare is shrouded in legend, with whispers of hidden treasures and spiritual secrets passed down through the ages.
The Cathars, Dualists of Gnostic heritage who challenged the orthodoxy of their time, left behind more than ruins and stories; they left a legacy of spiritual rebellion that calls to modern seekers of truth, a legacy we deeply respect and admire.
As we walked these lands, we felt the presence of those who dared to defy the mundane, echoing the spiritual rebellions of Thelemites and mystics who seek the divine beyond the veil of material existence.
Babalon: Beyond the Red Goddess
In these ancient hills and valleys, the spirit of Babalon the Black seemed to stir, a presence felt more than seen, guiding and inspiring. The Cult of the Black Madonna, widespread in this region and throughout much of Central Europe and Italy, seems like a natural prelude to the rise of Babalon the Black.
It also serves as a continuation of the mysteries of Isis, both deities being names for Nuit, each a fractalisation of the other. Babalon, like Isis, embodies profound complexity within Thelema, a complexity that we continue to explore with wonder and curiosity, encompassing aspects of Nuit, spiritual experience, and a mode of meditation and sexual practice.
To understand Babalon solely as the Red Goddess of whoredom is a profound mistake. While this aspect is compelling, it represents only an initial reverberation, a reaction against the previous Aeon’s constraints and limitations.
The overt celebration of sexual freedom and transgression that characterises her as the Harlot is but a gateway, a necessary liberation from the strictures that have long suppressed the divine feminine and the full spectrum of human experience. However, to confine her mysteries to this early expression is to miss the deeper currents she embodies.
The true Mysteries of Babalon lie far beyond mere sexual liberation. They are found in total annihilation, which should not be confused with simple nihilism or the absence of meaning. Instead, this annihilation represents a perfect coincidentia oppositorum, a union of opposites of an alchemical nature. In this state, all dualities are dissolved, and all distinctions between self and other, sacred and profane, are transcended. It is an annihilation of the ego and the false self, a complete surrender to the infinite, which Nuit herself embodies.
Babalon, in her fullest expression, is not merely a figure of liberation from societal and moral constraints but a profound symbol of spiritual transformation. She calls for the ultimate surrender, not just of moral inhibitions but of the essence of individual identity, into the abyss of her cup. Through this surrender, this alchemical annihilation, one encounters the true nature of the divine. In her mysteries, we find a reflection of the mysteries of Isis and, thus, of Nuit, revealing that the path through Babalon is one of profound spiritual transcendence and the realisation of unity with the infinite.
This pilgrimage was an invocation, a calling forth of the spirit of Babalon to guide us. We sought her signs in the hidden corners of the landscape, the ancient stones, and the whispering winds.
Babalon, the “Gate of the City of ON,” or Heliopolis. Many asked me why I called this experience Towards Heliopolis, but I was going to Occitania instead of Egypt. I hope this is now clear to those of you reading these words, as it became crystal clear to everyone who joined me in this experience.
Seeking the Mysteries
Indeed, I was not alone on this journey. Joined by fellow seekers, each committed to discovering the hidden layers of reality, we embarked on this pilgrimage together, aiming to strengthen a secret Current we have been working with for years. The transition from the fiery days of summer to the harvest season at the Equinox added to the sense of alignment as if the spiritual forces of nature itself were conspiring to deepen our quest.
Together, we explored the mystical landscape, not just with our eyes but with our spirits, seeking contemporary termas — hidden teachings awaiting discovery. As we journeyed, practices and insights flowed freely among us, each step a part of the sacred dance. The energy of the land seemed to respond to our intentions, revealing subtle layers of understanding and connecting us to the ancient mystics who once walked these paths.
Our journey took us to some of the most enigmatic sites in Occitania, each a step deeper into the mysteries we sought. We began at Rennes-le-Château, steeped in legends of hidden treasures and secrets guarded for centuries. While Rennes-le-Château is widely known for the “billionaire priest” scandal that has intrigued treasure hunters and conspiracy theorists alike, we were drawn to something deeper. We read the secret signs left for those with eyes to see, connecting with the energies of the Magdalene and Asmodeus — the true Mystéres of the place. These subtle currents run beneath the surface of the village’s history, pointing not to material wealth but to spiritual truths waiting to be uncovered by those attuned to their presence.
From there, we ventured to Château de Quéribus and Château de Puilaurens, both fortresses perched high in the mountains, once a stronghold of the Cathars. The stark and dramatic ruins seemed to whisper of ancient rebellions and spiritual fortitude.
One of the most profound experiences was our journey through the underground river Labouiche, where we sailed for over an hour, 100 meters below the earth’s surface. The darkness and silence of this subterranean world enveloped us, evoking the feeling of entering the womb of the earth itself — something mentioned in the Creed of the Thelemites, as recorded in Liber XV.
We also visited the Hermitage in the Gorges of Galamus, with its sanctuary carved directly into the rocks. This sacred space, nestled in the heart of nature, felt like a true temple of the divine, a place where the presence of the numinous could be felt in the very stones. Each site, with its unique energy and history, brought us closer to understanding the deeper mysteries of Babalon and the land that has held these secrets for so long.
In Alet-les-Bains, we walked past the medieval house where Nostradamus himself lived as a child, feeling the lingering presence of one who glimpsed beyond the veil of time. Our path led us to an ancient church, built atop a much older temple dedicated to Venus — yet another aspect of Babalon, with Netzach echoing the energies of Binah. Here, the layers of history and spirituality overlapped, revealing the continuity of the divine feminine through the ages. Finally, we reached a secret and sacred place in Sournia, where our pilgrimage came to a profound conclusion. Beside a waterfall that has served as a baptismal font for over 1,500 years, each of my companions received Anointment into the Universal Gnostic Church. In that hallowed space, we partook of the Eucharist of the Three Elements, a sacrament that united us in the mystery and the majesty of the divine.
The Pyrenees stood as silent sentinels, their rugged beauty a reminder of the ancient mysteries held within their folds. In the mountains, ruins, and skies, signs of Babalon revealed themselves to us. Every sunrise and sunset became a ritual, a time to reflect and connect with the divine forces that seemed to guide our every move.
The Pilgrimage Within
In the spirit of Aleister Crowley’s Prologue of the Unborn, where the poet experiences a profound union with the divine through the imagery of Pan and the dissolution of self, our journey was an act of love and will, a conscious surrender to the unfolding mystery. Like Crowley’s ecstatic embrace of the divine in the wilderness, we too sought to embrace the spirit of Babalon, to allow her to permeate our being and guide us to greater understanding.
As the Equinox approached, we felt a culmination, a harvesting of the spiritual fruits of our journey. The synchronicities and revelations, the bonds formed and strengthened, all seemed to align with the changing of the seasons as if our pilgrimage was in perfect harmony with the cycles of nature. We returned not with physical treasures but with a deeper understanding, a strengthened Current, and a sense of having touched something eternal.
This retreat was more than a journey through history; it was a pilgrimage into the depths of the soul, guided by the spirit of Babalon and the echoes of the Cathars. It was a reminder that searching for hidden truths is as much an inward journey as exploring the world around us. As we continue to walk our paths, may we carry the spirit of this pilgrimage within us, ever seeking, ever embracing, ever becoming.
I would like to thank Jessica Arcana for the photography and the invaluable help in the daily work we undertook, and Tonelise Rugaas of Magical Retreats for being the organising force behind this memorable experience.
