A STATEMENT ABOUT A STATEMENT
The bitter fruits of the Wasteland
UPDATE: a bullet-point list of truths and falsehoods for those who want the tl:dr
Five years ago, I documented my harrowing experiences inside Ordo Templi Orientis. In the intervening years, it became one of the go-to articles people find and read online when researching the trail of abuses and cover-ups perpetrated by this organisation.
While most of the article focuses on the ultra-reactionary influences inside the organisation, it starts with recounting the sexual abuse suffered by a young woman, newly initiated into the group, by one of her “Brothers”.
UPDATE: as of October 2023, the author of the statement I am replying to here, and that it is linked above, has decided to delete it from her website. She offered no explanation as to why, and has been deleting every comment regarding this matter on her social media accounts.
I was one of those she lied to about it. And the one who stuck out my neck for her, championing her cause inside the Order first and then outside it. Because of it, I got ostracised, harassed, and ridiculed, and in time, I even received death threats from my once-Brethren.
Today, while asking for forgiveness for her lies, she seems unable to stop doing so. In her statement, she tries to characterise me as the one who convinced her to go on with the accusations. She even ultimately makes up a story about me having a “personal and magical rivalry” with this person when the reality is that this man was often seen as the village idiot in the Lodge I belonged to. That’s not something that can amount to any sort of rivalry.
It should be noted that this is also the very same narrative that O.T.O. officers tried to spin as the whole debacle unfolded five years ago. That she was a mentally ill alcoholic manipulated by someone hellbent on destroying the Order from the inside — me, who at the time was busy calling out James Wasserman and his alt-right cronies.
Again, lies.
The last time I saw or spoke in person with her was in the Autumn of 2018. At the time, it became evident that she wasn’t who she pretended to be — personally and on a magical level. Her online rhetoric was one of intense misandry that I could not get behind anymore, so I cut my ties with her. I stated this publicly several times, and recently, I got accused of misogyny for doing so.
I briefly contacted her in October 2022 via Facebook Messenger to ask her why her articles were gone from the Thelemic Union website and to inform her that her (alleged) abuser was once again organising events for the public here in the UK.
In the exchange, of which a screenshot exists but I cannot post here due to Medium’s policies, she states that she had no idea why the articles were removed (a lie: on her Facebook page, she stated she removed them on the request of the other person) and that she had no desire to deny or change the story of all that happened.
My involvement in this situation happened for one reason and one reason: I decided to “believe women”, the slogan of the #metoo movement. The lesson I learned is that I will never be able to do so again enough to act upon it, not without severe proof and the involvement of the proper authorities, not the made-up ones of occult orders.
And this is a crucial point because, as she knows but fails to add to her statement, she wasn’t the only one who came up with similar claims. But, like her, none of these other women ever went to the police with theirs, making it impossible to call them to testify now. And after all, five years later, it’s only right they keep their own peace. Something she thinks should belong only to herself.
To the person who stood accused by her, I only say that I am glad to hear he’s not a rapist and that I am sorry for the part I played in his own ordeal. And I genuinely hope she is now telling the truth. It would be atrocious to have her u-turn again in another five years’ time.
So here I am, left with the horrendous suspicion that I’ve been played for a fool, all this time and through all the abuse I have been subjected to. Lesson learned.
